I am behind

I should be inspired by other people’s creativity. And sometimes I am. Other times I go into a deep spiral of panic because they are better than me or younger than me, or–horror of horrors–both better and younger than me. It makes me want to lie on the floor in a fetal position and wail. In a dignified, British-y way, of course.

I try to tell myself that these young, talented soul-killing people had to start at some point in building their portfolio of work, and that I am building my portfolio of work and that writing/art isn’t like ballet where you are *?#%ed if you aren’t on pointe shoes by the time you are two years old. I concede that I am, technically speaking, making a good argument. Not good enough for me to uncurl from my fetal position though.

Writing notes: I am writing short stories and I have no idea if they are good. Short stories are baffling to me. I mean, I think that I have some good ideas and then I try to smush them onto the page and…maybe? I don’t know. They are all really short at the moment, and I don’t know if that is a good thing or not. Angst, angst, angst.

Reading notes: I’ve been reading the second writing notebook compilation from Tin House. It is all craft essays and I am really enjoying it. There is one about a very structured process of writing short stories that once I’ve gotten over my whole panic attack thing I might try.

Published by